by Bryan Renfro 

     I remember when I saw the trailer for the movie "Kiss of the Damned", I thought it looked like it might be an interesting take on the vampire tale, with dreamy visuals focusing more on the romanticized angle of the story. Well, I was right about the second half of that statement. Unfortunately the tale itself I did not find very interesting.

     The plot is... (minor spoilers ahead) seductive vampire Djuna (Josephine de La Baume) randomly meets Paolo (Milo Ventimiglia), and they are immediately enthralled with each other. He is inexplicably drawn to her and she seems to welcome that at first, but suddenly realizes the grave consequences of being together and tries to resist a physical relationship. Yeah right, we all know that's not gonna last. So before long they are going at it again, and at that point she reveals to him her true self. Well not only is Paolo oddly calm about learning that his newfound girlfriend is a vampire, but quickly and wordlessly seems to give himself over to her... which Djuna suddenly forgets all her reservations and animalistically brings him over to her side. From there, the movie becomes about Paolo adjusting to their new "lifestyle" as well as the couple dealing with the new complication of Djuna's bratty sister Mimi showing up on her doorstep. Mimi begins to not only bring problems to their perfect home life but also potentially expose the whole vampire community that they exist within.

     It's funny that near the beginning of this movie there is a scene that takes place in a video store, because it was that early on that I also felt a very familiar tone. This began to feel like a movie I had rented at a video store myself, only back in the old VHS days and this was one of those straight-to-video releases. I started remembering the (now vintage) made-for-video store trailers that I used to see for these type of movies, and it felt frighteningly close one of those titles. You know, the cheesy thrillers with a romantic angle that were rampant back in the day. Mostly because they were inexpensive to produce, and there were thousands of Mom and Pop video stores out there that needed something to fill their shelves. And this movie started to feel like a gothy shadow of one of those Friday night rentals. All it was missing was Shannon Tweed.

     And as I continued to watch, one word kept popping into my mind - disingenuous. Nothing felt real. It was all presented at an acceptable level. The scenes looked somewhat professional, the shots are framed ok, the sets look they they spent a decent amount of money to put this thing together. But overall, nothing felt real. Not the characters. Not the dialogue. Really, the movie as a whole just didn't feel fully fleshed out. Yes, the plot has a huge fantasy element to it, but without some sense of reality in the most basic of scenarios, I wasn't invested in anyone or anything on-screen. And that becomes a problem.

     There's just some sort of disconnect that seems to be happening with everyone in the film. When our couple is having a domestic conversation, like couples do - I just don't buy it. They don't feel like a real couple having a conversation. When the sisters fight and really go at it, like sisters do - I still don't buy it. They just don't fight like real sisters would. And that disjointed feeling never seems to go away. In the end, I think I have to point the finger at the writing more than anything.

    That became painfully obvious to me midway into the story when they are at a fancy dinner party... for vampires. And before the night is through, they all settle in for a nice conversation on the goings-on of their vamp society. Which in actuality, should be a really interesting scene. But the problem is once again, the way the dialogue is written. Because these aristocratic bloodsuckers are having a discussion that they should have had - oh, a few hundred years ago! Or perhaps they should have had dozens of variations of this conversation over the years, posing these grand questions to the group and then talking them out. But here, it's presented like they are having this discussion for the first time. Not like they are explaining the over-all situation to Paolo, the new inductee (and the viewer surrogate). Now using that as the tool to setup the rules of the society they live in would actually make sense. But they don't do that - they just sit down and start talking, as though they JUST realized these situations exist. That they "are the monsters", and in fact, it should be their world and they shouldn't have to hide their existence from the lowly humans. Yes... after hundreds of years of existence JUST NOW they are sitting down to have this conversation. Really? Does that seem right? But that is how it is presented here. And I think that is a perfect example of the unrealistic theme that seems to run throughout this film. The writer/director Xan Cassavetes has an idea of the basic structure of this world that she wants to convey to the viewers, but maybe just doesn't have the writing experience to know how to present it in a way that feels natural.

     But... to hit on a good point, Cassavetes does have a handle on developing a visual style for film. The gothic, dreamy images that were promised in the trailer are definitely there. But even more impressive were the vampire attack segments. The "kill scenes" are by far the most inventive and interesting part of the movie. There's an onslaught in the woods that is actually a very effective scene, possibly the best-shot portion of the movie. But unfortunately it's a quick segment.

     The problem is the film spends too much time on the two leads attempting to find "this perfect life" together. There is a subplot about a power struggle involving the sister within the little undead society, that actually starts to make the movie more interesting - but it's too little too late. Had that come into play before the halfway point of the story and focused more on that dynamic, maybe it could have salvaged things. But instead it lingers on the couple's relationship, coming off like a vampire-themed Harlequin romance novel. As if it was made by someone who grew up reading those and fell in love which the idea of these dark, tortured protagonists and their tragic yet perfect lives. And maybe it was?

     I mean, to some extent most horror fans have a little love for that concept. That's what draws us to the vampire lore. That's why we grew up watching the Universal classics and the Hammer horror titles. But this film doesn't have the style and allure of either of those cinematic institutions. Nor the writing skill to construct a interesting narrative. It just feels like a fan film. Like it was made by someone who truly loves the genre, but hasn't quite risen to the level of making a great movie. As I looked into it, this is in fact director Xan Cassavetes's first real attempt at a feature film. And it sounds like she was fascinated with the romanticized life of vampires and their struggle for some sort of humanity. So who knows... maybe she still has that great horror movie in her waiting to be made. But for me, this one missed the mark.